Mistaken Identity

I work out (at too early in the morning) with a group of women and sometimes a few guys. Did I tell you that the guys haven't lasted. It's that hard of a work out. Being unfit despite having six children to run after and care for doesn't quite translate to muscles. I've found that motherhood has a tendency towards flabbiness. The irony, just--SUCKS.

Our exercise group got together because we all shared the same personal trainer. His name is Akil (fitting isn't it?). I think the definition for Akil is simply: to kill unfit flabby women at no cost. Which he does with ease. Every morning at 5 a.m.

The funny thing about our work out group, is the fact that we just took whatever name Akil called us as an introduction to each other. Trusting him because well, he's our trainer, right?

So the first day of working out and no introductions to the other barely breathing and sweating girls; I would hear Akil call his clients by name. He had called one girl, "X" which I assumed was a nickname because she did look like an "X factor." Actually she looked like a Greek Goddess. She was the live model in which the Greek Goddesses were sculpted into marble; she makes the rest of us look like peasants. Right, back to the point of the blog. He called others, Titi, (which if you're in my family is a name); next he called someone "Earl". And the rest of the girls had justifiable real names.

So long story short, I just kept thinking, the poor girl named, Earl. Why did her parents call her Earl? And all the other girls started calling her Earl too.


One day, two weeks later after our informal/non-existent introductions, I was paired up with Earl. As we crossed each other on our killer lunges, and my thighs were burning, I finally took courage. I asked, "Earl, that's your name, right?"

Which she answered, laughing, almost dropping her dumb bells off of her shoulders, "Hell, no! Akil thinks, I could have played in the NFL. He calls me Earl." Which I knew stood for Earl Campbell. My NFL knowledge still kicks in.

Being embarrassed, I apologized for thinking her real name was Earl.

She then turned to me and asked, "And your name isn't (here she hesitates) Monkey?"

"Monkey?" I answered just to make sure I heard it right.

"I thought I heard Akil, call you Monkey."

So there you have it. Y'know about the beam in your own eye? Earl had nothing to worry about, because being called Monkey, hands down, is the worst mistaken identity for a name like Vagi.

We later exchanged real names. Earl is really Shavonne. And well, Monkey almost sounds like Vagi, right?

And what's the lesson here? Earl is definitely a better name then Monkey, any day, 5 a.m. in the early morning. OR any unforgivable time in the morning day or night.

I'm hoping she thought it was a term of endearment.

I finally told Akil this story, he couldn't stop laughing for a whole minute. Well, once again, WE are ALL laughing together, right? Akil swears, he's never called me Monkey. And now he thinks, he just might.